Everything fell into place, just as it does when a Bodysex circle is meant to be. The right women were there at the perfect time for each of us. There were seven in the circle: two in their 20’s, two in their 30’s, one in her 40’s, and two in their 50’s. Most of us knew one another from weekly self-loving workshop sessions that were held prior to the Bodysex circle. An unexpected scholarship donation made it possible for two of the women to participate. One woman experienced a knee injury just before the workshop and couldn’t get down on the floor so we accommodated her with a recliner. We overcame obstacles to be here this weekend. Although there was some nervousness to manage, this group was ready to experience the magic of Bodysex.
Our small space embraced us perfectly as Betty Dodson’s self-portrait presided over us. It was as if Betty were present, guiding me through leading this experience. I felt so much excitement and anticipation as the circle began. The breath of fire and eye contact around the circle calmed and grounded me. I felt confident and ready to hold the space for our sisterhood to grow.
Every one of us shared our own history of feeling that our body didn’t measure up to an imposed standard. Each one of us in the circle could relate to feeling miserable in our bodies. We are all on the journey to loving ourselves more.
We also revealed how we felt about our orgasms. One woman shared that she didn’t have her first orgasm until she was in her forties. Another felt unsatisfied by the quality of her orgasms in spite of regular masturbation. A few expressed that they felt the need to be quiet during orgasms. All were open to discovering more about their own self-pleasure.
For me, genital show and tell was the highlight of day one. I felt comfortable going first to introduce my pussy, Lauriebelle. The rest of the women seemed excited to take their turn as I sat next to each one. I was so impressed by the beauty and diversity of each vulva. There was a wide variety of colors, clits, and labias. We used Betty’s Vulva Style drawings as a reference during discussion. All of the women were engaged in describing the unique loveliness of each of our vulvas and helped suggest options for naming. We agreed that looking at our vulvas together in sisterhood was a much more profound experience than looking by ourselves with a mirror or with a lover.
We had more time for discussion before closing the circle. I asked if anyone had a question for the group, for each of us to answer. One woman asked us “What does your orgasm feel like?” Each of us chose different words, but there were some commonalities among us: release, waves, and explosion. We all agreed that it was very difficult to describe our orgasm experiences.
Next I asked “what is a favorite fantasy when you masturbate?” One woman shared that she thinks about being outside and usually puts nature documentaries on television for background noise when she masturbates so that her housemates won’t hear her. We talked about the inspiration for our fantasies, such as the Fifty Shades books and Anne Rice’s Beauty series. Literotica.com and the Kristen Archives websites were mentioned as a source for stories. One woman commented that she felt validated by our sharing. It helped her know that her own fantasies were okay and normal. Another woman felt inspired to start reading more erotica and fantasizing.
Day one ended with a deeper bond in sisterhood and a group hug. A few women went out to dinner together.
As the women arrived for day two, there was positive evidence of the Bodysex effect. One women appeared without makeup, explaining that not wearing makeup was a huge step for her. Makeup was the mask that she hid behind and she could be present without it as a result of the safety of our sisterhood.
I saw more smiles and less nerves as the circle began. Most of us reported sleeping very well last night. A couple of us confessed that we were completely exhausted and went to bed early. We all talked about sharing our experience with loved ones. It was hard to put into words, but most of us felt a shift in our being.
After a demonstration of the Rock ‘n Roll Orgasm, we explored using the vibrators and moved them over parts of our body as we stood in the circle. I could see faces smile and relax while experiencing the pleasure of feeling the vibes over various body parts. Then we moved the vibes down to our pussies and the pleasure sensation became more powerful.
We got comfortable on the floor and I guided practice of the Rock ‘n Roll Orgasm with Betty’s barbell and the wand. First came slow, intentional penetration with the barbell. Then we practiced the squeeze and release, added breathing, and continued as I called out prompts to set a steady pace. I know that I was turned on! Then we added the Magic Wand on our clits, rolling up to meet the vibe in rhythm with our breath and PC muscles.
When the time seemed right, I declared Erotic Recess. I started a playlist with music that included a strong sexy beat. The sound took me back to my own prior erotic recess experiences shared with other Bodysex sisters. I loved this connection from my past to this present moment. In time, I heard a couple of women vocalize their pleasure. After sending out words of encouragement, I focused on myself. It was incredibly satisfying to share my orgasm within this circle. I sat up and looked around the room. Everyone was lost in experiencing their own self-pleasure. I laid back down for more and came again and again. At one point, I took a break and brought out snacks. Some would sit up for a break and some nourishment while watching others then go back in for another orgasm. It was a delicious way to spend an afternoon.
After an hour or so, some of us sat up and spontaneously started holding the vibrator between our feet to bring it to our pussies (Indian Style technique). When everyone finished their individual orgasms, I suggested doing the Pillow Fuck together while I shared a fantasy for our group. After we were all positioned on top of our vibrators and pillows, I began by saying that we were the chosen women in our village, valued for our capacity for orgasm. Once a week, we would gather together in a circle to display our own self-pleasure. Wealthy and important men would come from far and wide to watch us. At the end of an hour, each of us would each be auctioned off to the highest bidder for a night of sex. As we continued in our circle, the fantasy became collaborative. Someone suggested that we would be the ones to choose who was worthy to have sex with us and they would offer money in return. When we were interested, we could signal a man to take off his pants so that we could view his genitals and erection as we performed and they watched. I loved sharing in the fantasy story and looking around the room as we enjoyed pleasure in sisterhood.
We ended the day with group massage. Each of us took a turn to experience touch delivered by six pairs of hands. The loving energy shared was literally palpable during this experience, both in the giving and receiving modes. Although the time per person was short, it was an incredibly satisfying way for us to end an afternoon of orgasms together.
During our closing circle, I was filled with love and gratitude. These women, now my Bodysex sisters, will be forever in my heart.
∞Bodysex Workshop, June 23-24, 2018
With gratitude in pleasure,
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